MAKING NEW FRIENDS, THE ADULT VERSION

I’ve always been blessed to have such a supportive group of girl friends; from my longest friendships formed in middle school, to my high school girlfriends, to my college sorority sisters. I’ve been lucky enough to surround myself with strong, caring friends that have helped shape me into the woman I am today. Leaving these girlfriends behind in Texas was terrifying, and even many of times had me wanting to move back home. When I first moved, the city that I once loved immediately seemed so lonely, I longed for strong relationships with girls in New York that I had in Texas. People don’t discuss what it’s like to make new friends as an adult. Going to school, your almost thrown into your clique depending on what sport, extra circular or sorority your in, making friends isn’t even something you really have to work for, it comes natural. Coming out of college and into the work force, typically you keep these friends. You may see them less and not live across the hall from them, but this is understandable, your a working woman. But for those of you, like myself, finding themselves in new cities, your starting from square one all over again.

Assuming your outgoing like myself, this may not seem like much of a task, but you soon come to realize that outside of the college walls, it can be hard finding new friendships among the working masses. I’m not talking about the friendships you can grab an occasional drink with, I’m discussing the ones you have an annoying group text full of stupid memes, friendships that will tell off the creepy guy at the bar for you, one’s that make sure you get home safe, and the friendships where you can be doing absolutely nothing and can’t stop laughing. These types of relationships are strong and last a life time, so how does one scope out these types of relationships when your working a 9-5 job?

1. SOCIAL MEDIA

   As odd as it sounds, my greatest friends here in Manhattan, were found on Facebook. YES, I did say Facebook of all social media accounts lol (your thinking, does anyone still use Facebook?) Despite the astigmatism of making friends via social media, it’s honestly the best tool we can use to meet people today. Almost Everyone is on some form of social media one way or another, and this is a easy way to locate others who have similar interests. How I met my friends via Facebook was through a New York city housing group, FB has many groups depending on where you live or your interests. I’ve also met great friends through Instagram! It’s extremely easy to find others by using hash tags, location services, and through friends of friends. This is actually very common in the blogging community and is a sure fire way to find women with common interests/hobbies!

2. DATING APPS

I recently touched on dating apps in a recent blog post, but these apps aren’t only good for finding love. Many of these apps such as Bumble have the capability to request your search for friends instead of dating, It’s called Bumble BFF and it matches you with compatible people also looking for new friends, it sounds odd, but most of the people on this app are normal and are also new to a city. Chat with new people, grab a drink and if you don’t hit it off than no harm no foul, it works just like dating. Even if your not using Bumble BFF, these apps all serve the same purpose, meeting new people. If your looking to simply meet others or make friends, than put that in your bio so others know exactly what your expectations are.

3. CLUBS/SPORTS

Another great way to make friends are through local sports clubs, organizations and church groups. One of my roommates is apart of a local lacrosse team that plays for fun in the city, they go out for drinks or brunch on Sundays after the games and mingle with other sports teams. Depending on what city you live in, you could probably find just about any hobby or sport of your choice, as well as local church groups. I have yet to find a church, but a friend of mine in the city actively goes to events for young singles held by a popular church in Brooklyn. It seems like a great way to meet other city new comers and bond with people who serve a common spiritual connection.

4. WORK

The expression says not to mix work with play, but this is almost impossible when we spend 80% our lives at work. An ideal situation is to form bonds with our colleagues in order to make work much more enjoyable. It may be a good idea to have a separate group of work friends from your going out and partying on the weekend kind of friends. I do think it’s important to find a group of work friends that you can enjoy an occasional after work happy hour with and people you can turn too with work related advice, this is also great means of networking and they may even have other friends that you may be compatible with!

5. ALUMNAE

This is a huge resource that I think many people often forget once we receive our diploma. Alumnae associations are a great way to make friends in a new city, it’s also a great resource when networking or looking for jobs! Find out if there are local alumnae groups that hang out, have events or a group chat! I’m currently looking into joining my own sorority’s alumnae group in the city and I’m also a part of a group for Texas fans!

6. SIMPLY LEAVE THE HOUSE

The most over looked method of making new friends… get out of the house!! I think many city newbies are reluctant to do things alone or go places by themselves, but you will never meet any potential friends this way. When I first moved to the city, I would go to bars, restaurants and local blogger events alone. It’s uncomfortable at first, but I promise it gets easier! Your much more likely to be approached when your alone then when your in a group. By simply going places and doing things by myself, I wound up meeting many people/friends/potential roommates!

Remember the only way to meet others and form new friendships is by putting forth a conscious effort. It’s not always easy or comfortable, but it will work in time. Like dating or finding a job, forming friendships takes time and effort. Don’t be afraid to be bold, ask someone for their number or to grab coffee sometime! Chances are, by putting yourself out there in the universe, the universe will give back. I highly guarantee you, that person you approach is open to making new friends as well. Be proactive, give it time, and things will eventually work out in your favor.