HOW TO START BEING HAPPY TODAY!
Think about your life. What about it is stopping you from being happy? Are we born happy? Or is it something we learn? Perhaps you’re not unhappy but just going with the flow - no excitement or thrill. I believe happiness is a feeling that we produce, but often times we have to rewire our own brain’s way of thinking. How do we do this? Much of my own happiness has deep roots in religious beliefs and prayer, but also the way I live my life and take care of myself. While coping with this national pandemic, it can be hard to find joy in the day to day, even someone as positive as myself struggles with this. I believe the list I’ve laid out in this journal has had great effects on my mind and body, and are things we should be striving for everyday beyond this time of quarantine. Try these and I believe they WILL make you happier almost immediately!
Stop Aiming for perfection. It’s only natural as human beings to compare ourselves to others. Especially now in a world consumed by social media and technology. Celebrities and bloggers’ lives are completely at our finger tips at all times. And even the “not so famous” famous TikTok users and teenagers have the ability to gain hundreds of thousands of followers unlike ever before, it’s no wonder why young girls have so many insecurities. The catch is, we only see what these people want us to see. We have no real knowledge of these people’s authentic lives, so stop comparing yourself. Aim to be the best YOU can be. Own your imperfections because they make you the most unique individual.
Find a passion. This is critical in this process. Whether it’s a goal or hobby, religious or career-oriented, it doesn’t matter! Find something that gets your gears turning - something fuels your fire. Once, you’ve found that passion, ask yourself, “Can I make a career out this?” I firmly believe we do not live to work, but should work to live. We spend an immense amount of time on this Earth working, so why not find something that gets us excited in the morning!
Declutter and Purge. One thing that gives me more anxiety is when I feel consumed with material objects. Having too much unnecessary stuff can be extremely heavy. Living more simplistic has been known to release feelings of happiness, and you begin to notice that people and experiences are much more important than objects that can only bring a temporary high. I suggest using time during quarantine to spring clean a bit. I honestly do this ever couple months or if I do a big shopping trip. Donate, sell, or recycle objects you haven’t worn in a while or don’t have much of a need for. There’s no use in holding on to anything that is simply taking up space - this includes people.
Establishing a Strong Support System. Having trust worthy friends and family that care about your best interest, this should be at the top of the list to be honest. Everyone needs at least one friend they can laugh with when times are good, and, especially when times are hard. I surround myself with a large support system. Each person brings something different, yet important to my life, and I feel like I bring something special into theirs. I hinted to this at the end of my last point, but it’s okay to “spring clean” the people in your life if need be. People come in and out of our lives, some stay because they are a vital part of it, while others are just temporary or there during a particular phase in our lives. This sounds harsh, but we grow out of friendships occasionally, and this is perfectly okay if this person isn’t a contributor to YOUR growth and happiness.
Get rid of Negative Energy. The above perfectly transitions us into the next subject - toxic energy. If you feel a friend, partner, or family member is contributing to a lack of happiness and growth, then it’s perfectly okay to distance yourself from them. In terms of our own happiness and growth, at times we find ourselves forced to be selfish, and this is one of those times. If anyone is holding you back from achieving your goals or happiness, remove the toxic energy. This also includes our personal habits; how you may treat or think about yourself, or things you put into your body. Be mindful of the triggers around you that bring feelings of negativity and ask yourself, “it is worth it?”
Stop Self Sabotaging. This goes hand in hand with the subject of toxic energy, but here I’m referring to the way your mind can get in the way of personal happiness and growth. Self-doubt and insecurities can be just a draining as people or outside toxicities. These feelings of self-doubt not only deplete our self-confidence but can also prevent us from putting ourselves out there and achieving our dreams. If you are someone that fits into this category, then start looking at yourself in the mirror and complementing yourself every day, or write a list of all the things you like about yourself. What we think about ourselves is so powerful. Start training your brain to be less judgmental because happiness starts from within.
Learn to deal with Stress. This is something I’m constantly working on, but being mindful of the world’s stressors is extremely relevant. For me, a hectic day at work day may bring upon stress, but I can acknowledge what triggers this feeling in me, therefore I’m able to seek ways to relieve this. The stress will come regardless, let it come and work to diffuse the situation. If you can find ways to reduce your stress levels than you can diffuse the tension rather quickly or even before it begins. What works for me is stepping away and taking a break, deep breathing, taking a walk in nature (or outside the office space), listening to music, working out, and getting a good nights rest. Find ways that work for you to reduce stress levels fast, and this will, in turn, boost your overall mood.
Let go of the Past. Holding onto the past is a sure-fire way to induce stress and anxiety, and potentially hold us back. I’m sure we all have things about the past that we wish we could change or maybe even return to, but the fact is, we can’t. Letting go and releasing that energy will allow you to move on. If the past is a continuous trigger, ask yourself what causes this? What about it continues to keep you there? Once you get to the root of the problem, then you can find a way to break it. Perhaps this is apologizing to someone, forgiving yourself or others, or removing that thing that is your trigger. Once you get closure and remove this trigger then you can try to move forward.
Say Yes to New Experiences. Think about your life. What about it is stopping you from achieving your ultimate happiness? I suggest to change things up! Break your normal routine, apply for that new position at work, or talk to different people. Challenge yourself to break outside your shell and try something completely new. By doing so, I think you may surprise yourself. Perhaps in the process, you’ll form new relationships or find something you enjoy doing that you didn’t know before. Moving to New York was the scariest thing I had ever done in my entire life, and I am so thankful I did. I grew as a person, made life long friends, and created an entire new life for myself that I wouldn’t trade for world. If I chose the easy route and stayed in my Dallas comfort zone, I never would reach my full potential. Someone once told me, “nothing in life worth doing is easy and if it doesn’t scare you, than it’s not big enough.”
Stop Seeking Temporary Highs. My generation tends to feel like they deserve what they want immediately, and due to technology, many things you can. Unfortunately, most great things in life take much more effort and time. What I classify as a temporary high is something that brings short term happiness. These include material objects, food, jobs, or a quick fix. Things that bring long term happiness are experiences and memories, people, faith or prayer, morals, and personal goals. When we stop searching for these superficial temporary highs, and start looking towards long term “highs” or goals, we’ll be much more full. Think of it like eating a snack. You can eat a large number of chips to fill your stomach for a short time, but a spoonful of peanut butter will satisfy your appetite much longer. This long- term happiness is the big picture. It’s not a quick fix and it may take more work, but once you succeed, you will be much more fulfilled in the long term.
If you’ve read this far, thank you for reading. I personally feel like these are the ultimate 10 steps in achieving happiness that you CAN start today and take with you for the rest of your life. These take time, and you may achieve your goal one day while failing to meet your expectations the next. An that’s okay! Every day is a journey. Remember that happiness starts from hard work, but long term happiness comes from within the mind. Realize that things in our lives are often out of our control, but the one thing we can take complete ownership of, is ourselves. Take care of yourself out there!
